I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
