WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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