you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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