she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
