You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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