I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
