Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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