I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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