is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
