jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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