I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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