I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No...this little piggys going to the bar
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
