What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
