singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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