am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
