i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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