The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
