that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
