There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
