that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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