Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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