so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's no shave November. This is our time.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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