hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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