But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
