see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
