got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
