fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Blood and glitter go together right?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
