hotel room ftw
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
