it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
