My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
