I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
