can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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