i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
