He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
