Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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