I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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