Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
