oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
