You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
honey bunches of taint.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
