hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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