that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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