it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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