Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
