I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
