Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
