Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
