im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
