I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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