i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
