I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
