Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
