An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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