U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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