I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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