Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
