I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
