check it out our google latitudes are spooning
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
