But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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