Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
