wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
