They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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