I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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